Julia C. Dancer
"This is not just my degree; it is my husband's degree and my children's degree."
When Toni Alexander tells people her children's ages, she is always met with disbelief: 鈥淏ut you look so young!鈥 Toni and her husband, Reggie, have three children: Jaydon (16), Kaelyn (12), and Kaedon (5). With only months left until graduation, she reflects here on the challenges of being a mom and a graduate student.
She admits it wasn鈥檛 easy, 鈥測ou struggle, daily.鈥 鈥淲hen you鈥檙e worrying about the program,鈥 she continues, 鈥淚鈥檓 worrying about my kids. It鈥檚 an added stress.鈥
How did she hold on? 鈥淚 have an entire village,鈥 she says about her mom and her sisters. But it is her husband that is the key support in her life. Toni and Reggie, who is an educator, have been together for 18 years and married for 14. 鈥淲hen I walk across that stage,鈥 she says, 鈥渢his is not just my degree. This is my husband鈥檚 degree. This is my children鈥檚 degree. This has changed my life in so many ways, and it鈥檚 the same for my children.鈥
Toni believes her parenting experience actually helped her with graduate school. 鈥淵ou can feel discouraged about an assignment, and parenting is the same,鈥 she says. 鈥淵ou step away, come back, knock it out, even when you feel like you鈥檙e not at your best.鈥 And she noted you use some of the same skills in both areas, like mediation, negotiation, and problem solving.
Why an MPA degree? 鈥淢PA degrees are not a degree you just want to get to get, 鈥 she says. 鈥淵ou want to get it to effect change. It can鈥檛 be about the next best job. It has to be a thing where after you get the degree, your passion and your paycheck meet up. It鈥檚 not just a degree, but a profession. Show your kids that they want a career.鈥
Toni spent a lot of time thinking about which MPA program she would attend. At other schools, she felt she would walk away without much more than a diploma. 鈥淭hey felt too much like MBA programs with a different name.鈥 She chose the Colin Powell School鈥檚 MPA because of the people. Toni says she 鈥渕anaged to develop relationships that will last me a lifetime.鈥 She met people here that she 鈥渨ouldn鈥檛 mind working with.鈥
When asked if she had a favorite saying, she quoted from Corinthians: 鈥淲e are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.鈥 After our hour-long interview about her life and her challenges, it鈥檚 hard to imagine anything striking Toni Alexander down.